Confessions of a Drugstore Car Guy

The 18th Annual Alzheimer’s Show happened last Sunday and I missed it! I didn’t mean to, had every intention of being there and doing my part to make sure everything went off without a hitch. I even spent Saturday cleaning-up my Old Car, getting it ready for the show. That evening I didn’t feel so hot and went to bed early and Sunday morning I felt worse. So I stayed home hoping to: 1) recover quickly and 2) not infect anyone else.

Missing the club’s signature event, the culmination of nearly a year’s work, just because I felt rotten has made me feel really guilty. Oh, I feel better otherwise, I’ve apparently gotten over whatever ailed me but the guilt’s a significant burden. If I was sick, you ask, why should I feel guilty? Because I know there were a number of others working at the Show who probably felt as bad, if not worse, than I did.

Not to name names, or to embarrass anyone, but I know there were bad backs, hips and knees, recent surgeries and chronic conditions out there toiling among the able bodied. The thing that makes an event like the Alzheimer’s Show a success is the level of commitment of the people behind the event; those working their butts off anonymously because they care. HMCCC and the Alzheimer’s Association is fortunate that there are a bunch of people who really care and are committed to making this event a success.

I don’t know if my absence had any impact on this year’s Show, I suspect that it didn’t; the number of cars and their people, the amount of money collected for Alzheimers research, the good times had by all, probably didn’t suffer. I’m not even sure very many people knew I wasn’t there. In this case it is good not to be missed.

I’d like to think that they had to settle for second best when awarding “Best of Show” because my car wasn’t there but the car probably wasn’t missed any more than I was. Well, maybe a little more; my yellow broomstick hood prop-rod has a number of fans!

Next year I’ll take my vitamins, drink lots of orange juice, get plenty of sleep and exercise. If I live right and mind my “p’s & q’s” I should be good to go come time for the 19th Annual Alzheimer’s Show. It is, after all, a great cause and one that becomes increasingly important as we all get older. I will be there and doing my part; I really don’t like feeling guilty like this.

For Show coverage and PICTURES! go to:http://www.hmccc.50g.com/. There is also a slide show @ ttp://www.flickr.com/photos/flymall/sets/72157624879717331/show/. Flyers about upcoming shows at http://www.flymall.org/events/. Search the calendar by key words or have the calendar send you an email reminder about a show you want to attend. For more information see http://www.flymall.org/.

Confessions/Roads Scholar BOGO

I’ve been making plans for a road trip. We haven’t been out west for over a year and it’s time. This trip will combine several destinations and we’ll be gone for just over a month. I tend to do a lot of planning for trips like this because, to tell the truth, I like that almost as much as I do the trip itself.

My father always spent time planning our family trips and we took one just about every year. In those days he had to do it the old-fashioned way, with road maps and a note pad. He always had a collection of road maps handy and we’d pick-up new ones in each state we traveled thru. My travel agent is the world-wide-web.

Back in the day we got to a town in which were going to stay the night and found a motel by neon “vacancy” sign. My parents based their choice on availability and their reaction to the looks of the place from the parking lot.

Yesterday I booked rooms in six different cities and states on-line. Before I chose a place I looked at photos of the property and read reviews. I considered which properties were most convenient to my planned route, what restaurants were near-by as well as what the rooms cost.

After a couple of hours of surfing I have confirmed reservations for rooms in Indiana, Kansas, New Mexico, Texas, Louisiana and North Carolina. I know how to get from my route of choice to my room of choice. I know how far it is between stops (an average of 573 miles) and the accumulated mileage (5159 miles). MapQuest even estimates fuel expense based on miles traveled, mpg and average gas prices ($688). How did we live before the Internet?

One of the first family trips I planned was to Colorado Springs from Phoenix back in 1971. I didn’t make lodging reservations for the one night we planned to spend on the road to Colorado because I knew we’d find a place the old-fashioned “vacancy” sign way.

There wasn’t a room available between Cortez and Colorado Springs, however, (it was Rodeo Season) and we wound up driving straight thru (777 miles according to Google maps). We arrived at 0-dark-30 the next morning and my son, who was only about a year old at the time, was sick. Elayne wasn’t happy and I haven’t left home without reservations since!

Not long after the Colorado Trip I was involved in planning another trip, this one to include the entire family, a four wheel drive caravan to Alaska! We’d all get together for Sunday dinner at my in-laws and B.S. about what we’d need to make the epic trek up and down the Alcan Highway to Alaska and back.

Around this time my Uncle Donald retired from the Alaska State Highway Department and moved to the desert near us. Naturally we invited him to our Sunday dinner and planning session. Well, Donald confirmed our notion that a lot of planning was required to drive to or from the lower 48 (that what Alaskans call the rest of the country). To illustrate he recalled the time he was unpacking the trunk of his car following a drive from Anchorage to Seattle and found he hadn’t brought a spare tire.

I know planning people will tell you that it takes careful planning to make sure you’ve got all the essentials and to eliminate the non-essentials. That’s hogwash! The more/better the planning, the more junk you’ll have, period. Uncle Donald would not have had room for Aunt Irene’s crafts (gifts for everyone in the family) if he’d planned for a flat tire. He didn’t have a flat so he didn’t need the spare!

On a couple of occasions my friend Bunkie and I traveled together. He was as opposed to planning as I was addicted to it and we worked well together. I’d do all the planning I wanted and he’d either go along with my plans or completely ignore them. When you make a plan it’s really hard not to stick to it. When you don’t do any planning at least you don’t have to worry about the plan not working. I suppose winging-it is just another way of limiting your opportunities to be disappointed.

Back in the Day

A few weeks ago I checked-out a car show at the Boonsboro American Legion Post, getting a twofer in the process; hanging out with some neat cars and their people while making my debut at the Post to which I’d recently transferred my membership. The weather, for a change, moderated and it turned out to be a great day.

There were several El Caminos in attendance and they, coupled with the “remember the war” vibe that hangs around Legion Posts, reminded me of the U-2 chase cars I watched doing their thing at Bien Hoa Air Base in Viet Nam.

The U-2 can’t land by itself because of its extreme wingspan and a bicycle (two wheels in a row) landing gear. They use “pogos” (small wheels on flexible steel legs) to support the wing tip upon landing. This requires someone to put the pogo in place when the plane touches down.

Hence the El Camino chase car and a guy in the back to handle the pogo install! The El Caminos were 1968 SS396 models that earned their keep running down the U-2s as they landed. Watching these USAF hot rods going from zero to gotcha in half the runway convinced me I really wanted an SS396 El Camino when I got back to the World!

‘Twas Spring Carlisle Saturday

‘Twas Spring Carlisle Saturday, in my wife’s SUV;
We’re five cooped-up car guys who yearn to be free.
With no car shows or cruise-ins and nothing to do,
We’ve been stuck in the house the long winter thru.

My buddys are buckled all snug in their places
With doughnuts and coffee and smiles on their faces.
We left real early to be the first thru the gate
And so I can find parking in the same state.

Out on the highway we pass car after car
Heading for Carlisle from near and from far.
They’re real car guys from the look on their faces
To start the new season, they’re off to the races.

Traffic’s light as we approach the fairground
And we a find parking space without driving around.
For only ten dollars we park on somebody’s lawn;
Toward car guy heaven we’re inexorably drawn.

Adrenaline kicks in as we walk thru the gates,
‘Cause we know up ahead that treasure awaits.
First stop, however, after the doughnuts and coffee,
Is getting in line for a much needed pee.

Old stuff and new stuff and good stuff and crap,
A cornucopia of car stuff for us is on tap.
We check every vendor, leave nothing to chance,
They’ve got tools from China, even used Levi pants.

When we’re hungry only something greasy will do
Like buns piled high with pork bar-b-que
Or fresh cut french fries or sausage and peppers;
A regular bonanza of tasty vein cloggers.

If your daughter’s boyfriend wants an old car
Something kinda retro that won’t take him too far
On Carlisle’s fairgrounds, you’ll find it all there,
Like a cute little Pinto or maybe Corvair

There’s acres and acres of all kinds of things
To tickle your fancy and loosen purse-strings
Cars parked side-by-side up and down a big hill
You’re sure to find something to give you a thrill.

To recapture my youth I seek a sixty-two Valiant
With a hyper-pak four-barrel slant six powerplant.
I can’t find one this year but my faith isn’t shaken
I know my dream Mopar will be here next season.

Carlisle’s not Scottsdale, it’s not Barrett-Jackson
But they do have the Spring Collector Car Auction
Under strict orders from home not even to try
I better not bid on anything, let alone buy.

We drool over good stuff at the Car Corral ramada,
Like a low mile sixty-three Super Sport Impala
Next to a fifty-nine Cadillac Coupe DeVille’s fins
And a set of sixty-seven Cobra replicar twins

After tromping the rows from A thru triple-Z
We’ve seen only a small part of what’s there to see.
With only time for a pit stop and a bottle of water;
It’s getting late and we have a long walk to the car.

Chevy guys or Ford guys or guys who love Mopars
All dream of finding neat stuff for our cars.
But If you’re serious or just killing time for a while,
Something for everyone’s to be found at Carlisle.

From the Confessions Archive, Oct. '05

I’ve been thinking about how much has changed since 1956, the year my Chevy was new. That was the year I stacked a bunch of boxes on top of my Western Flyer, climbed atop the boxes, and coasted down our street. The street was really steep and, if I’d made it to the bottom of the hill, I’d have been right smack in the middle of the busiest intersection in town! I didn’t make it to the bottom; I didn’t even make it as far as our house. The wagon swerved into the curb and launched me and the rest of the load into a ditch. I don’t remember if the wagon was hurt, or the boxes, but I broke my arm. I’d like to think I’ve gotten a little smarter in the fifty years since then!
Something that surprises me about change is how much things remain the same in the midst of it. Folks in the fifties figured we’d all be getting around by personal jet-pack a half a century in the future. Or, at the very least, in personal transportation modules that would whisk us wherever by voice command, automatically avoiding hazards and zooming around obstacles. Nope, cars still need the same kind of driver input they needed in ’56. That’s good, I’m not sure I’m up for flying around in a jet-pack and I sure don’t want to trust myself to some auto-pilot thingie on 270!
For the most part I think things have gotten better in the last fifty years. It’s easier to get things and there are a lot more things to get. Although stuff is a lot more expensive, in a lot of ways it’s more affordable. As expensive as houses, cars, most stuff, is, we have a lot more and have less trouble getting it. We certainly must have a lot more money to spend.
Today we shop online for many things, never leaving the comfort of our PC. Many of us carry our phone everywhere we go and some never put it down. We know what’s happening anywhere in the world, as it’s happening. We hop a plane and fly across the country or around the world as readily as folks in ’56 took a bus across town.
Many, most, things are a lot better today than they were in 1956. Although my car is still on the road and in pretty good shape, it spent most of its life parked in a garage. Today’s cars, at least the mechanical parts, have a much longer life expectancy. They don’t even need tune-ups for 100,000 miles! They get good gas mileage, perform better and they have better paint jobs. On the down side, periodic maintenance on some new cars costs more than some cars cost new in 1956; and need someone with a degree in computer science to work on them.
I don’t know if I like many of the things we have today that folks didn’t have in 1956, things I mention above. But I do know I’m damn sure glad I’ve got them and would really think I was in trouble if I didn’t have them.

Confessions of a Drug Store Car Guy, Nov., '08

It’s hard being a member of a “classic chevy club” and not be concerned about the future of General Motors and those other two car companies. I was born sixty-some years ago and “the big three” (B3) were the big dogs in both American industry and the American economy. In those days they shared the spotlight with biggies in the steel industry and retail giants like Sears-Roebuck. Although quite a few of the companies on the NY Stock Exchange today were there fifty years ago, some are gone (the steel industry and retail giants like Sears-Roebuck) and those that remain have transformed themselves to meet the realities of a new century and a new economy. All except the B3, apparently.

Despite the persistent ringing of their alarms, the B3 seem to insist on hitting the snooze button. How obvious was the wake-up call from Japanese and European automakers every year since the 1960s? Since 1966 the best selling car has been a Toyota followed closely by a Volkswagen. With the exception of the Ford F-150, Mustang and Corvette, niche vehicles at best, the top selling cars for over forty years were built by someone other than the B3. If the reason why American cars have under-performed in the marketplace was a mystery the lack of response on the part of the B3 might be understandable. But there is no mystery, buyers know they get better value buying “foreign” cars!

Today we’re told the B3 are on the verge of collapse and that they need to be bailed-out or they’ll fail and drag the rest of the economy with them. The debate rages; bail-out or bankrupcy and there is plenty of support for either side. I’m a car guy not an economist and, therefore, not qualified to make the decision as to which course should be taken. Following the course they have over the sixty-some years I’ve been around, however, is not working for the B3 and it seems to me the problem is accounting, not economics.

The basis for accounting is balance; matching expenditures to revenue or not spending more than you make. The B3 have not operated within this accounting paradigm in decades. No component of the cost of “building a car” is more out of balance than labor costs (wages and benefits). The B3 are unionized and they pay their employees nearly 50% more than companies like Toyota and Honda pay their employees who build cars in the United States. A drive across Michigan reveals acres of new vehicles in abandoned parking lots, cars that were built in excess of demand because the B3 were required to pay union auto workers whether the cars were needed or not. When airlines started folding under the pressure of expensive labor contracts they re-negotiated those contracts and managed to survive and fly another day.

I don’t have the credentials to propose a solution to the crisis facing the B3 and I wouldn’t want the responsibility to do so if I was qualified. I am conscious, however, which may be more than can be said of the powers-that-be at either the B3 or the United Auto Workers. Albert Einstein said insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. I believe insanity ought to be ample justification for throwing out the fools who have been running the B3 for decades. They didn’t fix things when it became obvious things were broken in the Seventies and there’s no reason to believe they’ll fix them now!

Carroll G. Anderson
From: Heart of Maryland Classic Chevy Club Holiday 2008 Newsletter